HOLD ON

LIFE IS GOOD... REALLY, REALLY GOOD. Right now, I'm overfilling with gratitude... and not sure exactly quite why. I think it's partially the result of a mixture of the song I am listening to right now, and a series of extremely fortunate, simple moments over the past year. I don't even really know where to start, but I've had a few ideas over the past week or so that I was thinking I wanted to write about:... primarily solitude and holding on. I was having a hard time feeling like a had the right inspiration to write anything with enough passion backing it, but right now I feel extremely inspired... so that's good. Hopefully I can translate it well enough to pass it on.

Over the past week, I've been transitionally living with my newly remarried father and his new family of 5 until the 1st of October. Living out of boxes and the back of my car has been the trend of the month for me. The salon has been fairly demanding and  I have received some new responsibilities at the school so, really, my time spent at home has been pretty minimal. Regardless, it's been cool to get to know these great people that are such a huge part of my dad's life. Anyways, the first wave of inspiration that came to me this week was on a 30-minute lunch break. I had brought a box of crackers and a couple pieces of fruit, and decided rather than go somewhere to eat, I would just sit in my car (loaded with much of my life within it) and enjoy what I had brought. The wind was blowing and my car was facing an open field... and I just thought. Nothing was particularly beautiful about what I saw. The tall yellow weeds were dead and desolate and the wind was blowing dust and garbage across the field, but in that moment I felt a great deal of peace and I just started to think about how important it is to slow down and be alone and quite... even when you only have a few minutes in a dirty old "hoarder" car in the parking lot of your workplace. I've learned a lot in these lonely moments over the past year, and this one in particular, was a good moment... I knew I needed to write about it. After that, I found a lot of opportunities to just sit in my car and think, or to enjoy those still, simple moments. I guess it's kind of a resolution of mine.

So, to intro the next topic, I wanted to share a video originally shared with me by newly made friend, Marissa Delgadillo. She, as an acquaintance, showed me the video at the salon a few months ago and just this weekend, I had the opportunity of cutting her hair. We were both pretty happy with the results. Here's how it turned out:
 

The video she shared with me has been one that I revisit often and really lifts me up every time I listen to it. I feel it says what I am  about to say in a more powerful, effective way... and with an infinite amount of passion. 

Here it is with lyrics:                                                         

"Hold On"

Bless my heart.

Bless my soul.
Didn't think I'd make it to 22 years old.
There must be someone up above sayin'
"Come on Brittany, you got to come on up."
"You got to hold on... "
"Hey, you got to hold on... "

So, bless my heart and bless yours too.
I don't know where I'm gonna go
Don't what what I'm gonna do.
Well, must be somebody up above sayin'
"Come on Brittany, you got to come on up! "
"You got to hold on... "
"Hey, you got to hold on... "

"Yeah! You got to wait! "
"Yeah! You got to wait! "
But I don't wanna wait!
No, I don't wanna wait...

So, bless my heart and Bless my mind.
I got so much to do, I ain't got much time
So, must be someone up above saying
"Come on girl! You got to get back up! "
"You got to hold on... "
"Hey, you got to hold on... "

"Yeah! You got to wait! "
"Yeah! You got to wait! "
But I don't wanna wait!
No, I don't wanna wait!

"You got to hold on... "
"You got to hold on... "
"Got to hold on... "
"You got to hold on... "

I love the end, when she says "When the world ain't, treatin' you good, you gotta hold on, when everybody lookin' at ya funny, you got to hold on"... SERIOUSLY??? SO GOOD!

So maybe a bit personal, but I really feel I need to write about it at this point. I've never really told anyone about this, with the exception of a few people I wanted to make closure with. About a year ago from now, I wanted to take my life. I took an excessive amount of random pills and thought I had done the job, only to pass out and wake up with intense stomach pain and throwing up. I had lost my desire to keep trying. I no longer wanted to live. Looking back, it devastates me to think about what I had tried to do and how much hope I had lost when in reality, I never could have imagined how much I had to look forward to. I LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. And it only took a year for my attitude to completely 180. Back to an article shared with me by friend, Ashley-Jayne mentioned in earlier posts titled "What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Something", I see that I wouldn't be who I am without experiencing some hardship and pain. I am finally who I've wanted to be for a long time... MYSELF. If you are ever in those intense low moments, please just choose to keep living everyday one at a time, and looking forward. I promise it pays off.... I promise it gets better. Just hold on.

Leaving the Past for a Better Future

Wow, so this has been a long time coming. Two full-time jobs sometimes leaves little time for inspiration and writing. Maybe once I acquire a laptop I can be more regular with my posts, so I apologize for my inconsistency.

Taken Away

Well, life has been abnormally hectic... and that's completely okay; I've actually enjoyed it. However, it has reminded me of the importance of slowing down, and actually feeling what life  has to offer. For me, that usually means becoming more involved with music. Out of anything that I have come in contact with in life, I think music has had the deepest, most uplifting impact on me... nothing inspires me more. Although our drummer is still in China for another month, the band has decided to recommit to a weekly practice and a new direction. I'm extremely excited to get back into writing and playing music and we have some big goals for this summer as far as writing and recording go.

Anyways,  I wanted to share something that I believe is an  under-appreciated and unrecognized art form that is worth a person's time. Again, I am sharing media, but I think it's a pretty pure form of musical expression. This movement is called the "Take Away Show". Some of you might be familiar with these performances but for you that aren't, the Take Away Show is a live performance recorded in a place, whether public or private, that can evoke the emotion of the songs played in a stronger, more visual way. Something about these performances speak a language deeper than music to me. Some of these performances are just awesome for the sake of being awesome, but others bare a person's soul, show the human condition, or expose the beauty in life. Please explore these videos, and you'll see what I mean. The best manufacturers of these videos that I have seen so far are LaBlogotheque, and The Black Cab Sessions... Both can be found on youtube. I have also found that the bands our artists that have the strongest impact on me are those who produce these videos. People like Andrew Bird, Bon Iver, Lykke Li, Local Natives,  Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, St. Vincent, Portugal. The Man... seriously all of my favorites.

Here are a few that really hit me hard:
(if you can't invest the time to watch them all now, please revisit and watch... they are all very inspiring)

MEDIA

Okay, so as promised, I want to explain Robert Lobetta's impact on me this last week at Paul Mitchell's annual CAPER event. His presentation was basically about not letting the outside noise of others drown out your inner voice and intuition and being true to who you are in whatever you do. His approach, of coarse, was directed toward the trade of hairdressing. I saw a deeper, more meaningful side to his inspiring words. I thought about my blog, and the purpose of it. I think what I really want, is to connect with my soul; be it a God-given spirit, a subconsciousness, or a Jiminy Cricket. If it is the spiritual side to my being, then it is the beautiful side to my existence. I saw this so called "intuition" Robert spoke of to be the seemingly God-given, and naturally & artistically inspired part to any creative being. What I am starting to believe is that inside of each being, a beautiful, clear, perfectly unique voice speaks... and we tend to rarely here it. I am not referring to any type of devil or angel standing shoulder-side, despite my reference to Jiminy Cricket. I am more referring to a creative voice whose mission is to make life more beautiful and enjoyable; the innate desire to create that comes pre-packaged with every human body. For example, before a child can speak, they can be found stacking blocks or scribbling different colors together; as this desire matures and transforms it turns into something like Frank Lloyd Wright's architectural masterpiece, "Falling Water". This is the inner-voice I am referring to.

Frank Lloyd Wright's Falling Water, 1935.

Now, I figure, if this voice is inside of me (and I truly believe it is), how do I find it and connect with it? The answer came from Robert Lobetta... CUT OUT THE OUTSIDE NOISE. Not an easy task, but I acknowledge and accept his advice. His words were not limited to this message, as he then shared a short film that he had made. I felt the film was the start to a new movement that could, quite likely, revolutionize the hair industry. Titled "Fallen", the film takes avant-garde hairstyles and blends them into some kind of artistic, intensely emotional, new media super-power shake. I was blown away by how he was able to communicate the emotional side of a haircut, color, and style. His purpose may have been different in making this film, but I fell in love with this idea. Here is his film:

Upon watching this film a few times after I had returned from Las Vegas, I was starving... starving for more inspiration; something that speaks to my soul, something that makes me think differently... so I started really digging into youtube, to find something that drowns out all of the dirty media noise I sometimes get use to hearing, and to find some revolutionary media music that fills my creative cup. Soon, I was able to find some truly, beautiful uses for the technology society has developed. Below is one of the most inspiring, powerful, emotional short films I was able to stumble upon. Please, turn up the volume and watch with an open mind, and allow it to speak to you rather than being skeptical and analytical. 

One of the comments I read below this video read, "Watching things like this make me wonder what I've been wasting my life doing." I wondered the same. How much time do I end up wasting on dirty, outside noise? What amazing songs have I not heard? What beautiful art have I not seen? What creations am I missing out on? Basically, what inspiration is just floating around, waiting to be found, that I am missing out on because of wasted time and pointless distractions? Now... I do believe in finding an inner-voice that is independent of these inspirations, but the realization has really become an amplified one, that my quality of life and my life experience revolves highly around what I take in and allow into my life. Like the insightful "youtuber", I wonder what have I been wasting my life doing. My new goal is no more wasted life. There is too much out there to let it go to waste. I'm only welcoming beauty from now on, and always keeping an eye out for new perspectives. This year will be a well-lived one, full of growth and new experiences. If a minute is unintentionally wasted, I plan on making it up with an hour of well-lived life.