HOLD ON

LIFE IS GOOD... REALLY, REALLY GOOD. Right now, I'm overfilling with gratitude... and not sure exactly quite why. I think it's partially the result of a mixture of the song I am listening to right now, and a series of extremely fortunate, simple moments over the past year. I don't even really know where to start, but I've had a few ideas over the past week or so that I was thinking I wanted to write about:... primarily solitude and holding on. I was having a hard time feeling like a had the right inspiration to write anything with enough passion backing it, but right now I feel extremely inspired... so that's good. Hopefully I can translate it well enough to pass it on.

Over the past week, I've been transitionally living with my newly remarried father and his new family of 5 until the 1st of October. Living out of boxes and the back of my car has been the trend of the month for me. The salon has been fairly demanding and  I have received some new responsibilities at the school so, really, my time spent at home has been pretty minimal. Regardless, it's been cool to get to know these great people that are such a huge part of my dad's life. Anyways, the first wave of inspiration that came to me this week was on a 30-minute lunch break. I had brought a box of crackers and a couple pieces of fruit, and decided rather than go somewhere to eat, I would just sit in my car (loaded with much of my life within it) and enjoy what I had brought. The wind was blowing and my car was facing an open field... and I just thought. Nothing was particularly beautiful about what I saw. The tall yellow weeds were dead and desolate and the wind was blowing dust and garbage across the field, but in that moment I felt a great deal of peace and I just started to think about how important it is to slow down and be alone and quite... even when you only have a few minutes in a dirty old "hoarder" car in the parking lot of your workplace. I've learned a lot in these lonely moments over the past year, and this one in particular, was a good moment... I knew I needed to write about it. After that, I found a lot of opportunities to just sit in my car and think, or to enjoy those still, simple moments. I guess it's kind of a resolution of mine.

So, to intro the next topic, I wanted to share a video originally shared with me by newly made friend, Marissa Delgadillo. She, as an acquaintance, showed me the video at the salon a few months ago and just this weekend, I had the opportunity of cutting her hair. We were both pretty happy with the results. Here's how it turned out:
 

The video she shared with me has been one that I revisit often and really lifts me up every time I listen to it. I feel it says what I am  about to say in a more powerful, effective way... and with an infinite amount of passion. 

Here it is with lyrics:                                                         

"Hold On"

Bless my heart.

Bless my soul.
Didn't think I'd make it to 22 years old.
There must be someone up above sayin'
"Come on Brittany, you got to come on up."
"You got to hold on... "
"Hey, you got to hold on... "

So, bless my heart and bless yours too.
I don't know where I'm gonna go
Don't what what I'm gonna do.
Well, must be somebody up above sayin'
"Come on Brittany, you got to come on up! "
"You got to hold on... "
"Hey, you got to hold on... "

"Yeah! You got to wait! "
"Yeah! You got to wait! "
But I don't wanna wait!
No, I don't wanna wait...

So, bless my heart and Bless my mind.
I got so much to do, I ain't got much time
So, must be someone up above saying
"Come on girl! You got to get back up! "
"You got to hold on... "
"Hey, you got to hold on... "

"Yeah! You got to wait! "
"Yeah! You got to wait! "
But I don't wanna wait!
No, I don't wanna wait!

"You got to hold on... "
"You got to hold on... "
"Got to hold on... "
"You got to hold on... "

I love the end, when she says "When the world ain't, treatin' you good, you gotta hold on, when everybody lookin' at ya funny, you got to hold on"... SERIOUSLY??? SO GOOD!

So maybe a bit personal, but I really feel I need to write about it at this point. I've never really told anyone about this, with the exception of a few people I wanted to make closure with. About a year ago from now, I wanted to take my life. I took an excessive amount of random pills and thought I had done the job, only to pass out and wake up with intense stomach pain and throwing up. I had lost my desire to keep trying. I no longer wanted to live. Looking back, it devastates me to think about what I had tried to do and how much hope I had lost when in reality, I never could have imagined how much I had to look forward to. I LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. And it only took a year for my attitude to completely 180. Back to an article shared with me by friend, Ashley-Jayne mentioned in earlier posts titled "What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Something", I see that I wouldn't be who I am without experiencing some hardship and pain. I am finally who I've wanted to be for a long time... MYSELF. If you are ever in those intense low moments, please just choose to keep living everyday one at a time, and looking forward. I promise it pays off.... I promise it gets better. Just hold on.

Taken Away

Well, life has been abnormally hectic... and that's completely okay; I've actually enjoyed it. However, it has reminded me of the importance of slowing down, and actually feeling what life  has to offer. For me, that usually means becoming more involved with music. Out of anything that I have come in contact with in life, I think music has had the deepest, most uplifting impact on me... nothing inspires me more. Although our drummer is still in China for another month, the band has decided to recommit to a weekly practice and a new direction. I'm extremely excited to get back into writing and playing music and we have some big goals for this summer as far as writing and recording go.

Anyways,  I wanted to share something that I believe is an  under-appreciated and unrecognized art form that is worth a person's time. Again, I am sharing media, but I think it's a pretty pure form of musical expression. This movement is called the "Take Away Show". Some of you might be familiar with these performances but for you that aren't, the Take Away Show is a live performance recorded in a place, whether public or private, that can evoke the emotion of the songs played in a stronger, more visual way. Something about these performances speak a language deeper than music to me. Some of these performances are just awesome for the sake of being awesome, but others bare a person's soul, show the human condition, or expose the beauty in life. Please explore these videos, and you'll see what I mean. The best manufacturers of these videos that I have seen so far are LaBlogotheque, and The Black Cab Sessions... Both can be found on youtube. I have also found that the bands our artists that have the strongest impact on me are those who produce these videos. People like Andrew Bird, Bon Iver, Lykke Li, Local Natives,  Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, St. Vincent, Portugal. The Man... seriously all of my favorites.

Here are a few that really hit me hard:
(if you can't invest the time to watch them all now, please revisit and watch... they are all very inspiring)

Las Vegas.

The past week has been a fast-paced, exciting week. Last weekend, I visited SLC, Utah to a few things for the salon at IKEA, and just to get away from Rexburg and spend some time with friends. It was a good trip, and it was nice to eat at some different restaurants and experience a little more culture than Rexburg is use to offering. We were also able to vist the Lunatic Fringe salon on 11th while we were there to get a tour and visit with platform artist, Dave Holland. It was my first introduction to him, and I was very impressed by his humility and kindness... he is definitely a new mentor in my eyes.


Upon returning from Utah Sunday evening, I did some laundry and packed up to head to the airport Monday, arriving at 2pm. I arrived in Las Vegas that evening for Paul Mitchell's annual CAPER and  just returned home this morning. The event was full of high energy as expected, I met some amazing people, and was inspired to the fullest. I was even able to spend some time in the sun and sightsee a little. We stayed in Caesar's Palace, which is a beautiful hotel. I am amazed by the thought put into the designs, architecture, and art in Las Vegas. 

The past few times that I have visited, I had left with a kind of sorrow for some of the negative aspects of that city. I remember catching a few glimpses of people stumbling home from nightclubs, the homeless begging for money, the exploitation and disrespect of sexuality, and all of the artificiality of the ideals of a "Sin City" that "never sleeps" and its contentment and dependency in temporary relief, instant gratification, and an animalistic desire for constant pleasure. I saw those things this trip, but I think I saw past it and was able to focus in on some of the beauty of a broken city. There is a romance to all of the lights, and to the hopes and dreams that people have for something more in their lives. There is a lot of opportunity in that city, and I think people come there to take advantage of it. 

 Brandon Flowers released an album that I think captures the intrigue and beauty of this complicated city. The album is titled, "Flamingo"... If you don't know what I mean, visit his website at http://www.brandonflowersmusic.com/index. But truly I think this music video reflects this spirit: 

The whole album is portrays the more 

positive, but complex, spirit of Las Vegas and the hope and dreams contained within it. I almost feel as if the attitude it portrays is a kind of sad, desperate, confused, lost, but hopeful perspective. I definitely see a great deal of beauty in the idea of searching for happiness. I think that is what it is that makes a sad situation still beautiful... because there is still hope. 

Beyond the new appreciation and perspective I have gained on this city from this trip, I have greatly been influenced and inspired in my trade.  One of the most influential presentations I saw was that of Robert Lobetta, who calls himself the lunatic of Hair. He has turned hairdressing into film, contemporary art, and something so much more than cosmetology alone. To put it bluntly, he has taken what he loves and done whatever the hell he wants to with it. Please, if you haven't heard of him, look him up or his video titled "Fallen" on youtube. Such an inspiring man. I have run into a new obsession inspired by this man which I think will be the topic of my next post, so be sure to check it out. 

I feel so good right now about this blog. It already has fed a thirst that I think has been burning inside of me. I needed to communicate these things, and sort them out in my head enough to write them. And I am loving having the opportunity of sharing them. I think I know what to make with this blog now, and I am excited.