Discovered

So I haven't written in a very long time again. This blog has become a reminder of how I've treated every journal I've ever had... With little use. Life is busy as usual. I worked at the school this morning and made use of my night off from the salon by doing nothing but thinking. The air here has been speaking of fall. I now lay here know on a recycled couch listening to Youth Lagoon's "Year of the Hibernation" on vinyl while typing this blog on my phone. This record is absolutely amazing. I recommend listening to a song from the album as you finish reading. I'll make it easy for you... hit play:

This record is really inspiring and guiding my thoughts right now. In this moment, life seems so simple and incredible. I've rarely felt what I feel in this moment. I know this post is so atypical to my others, but I like how organic it feels to be writing exactly what I think.

Life is, no doubt, challenging, confusing, and far from perfect in my eyes right now... I have concerns (or maybe better described as fears) that I won't be able to find an environment, lifestyle, and relationships that brings me peace, happiness and contentment somewhat consistently. I often feel alone in my thoughts and alone in my life but I realized something in this solitude... At the school, the culture teaches students that there is no such thing as a mistake... That instead, we can only make discoveries. And we are better for making them because of the growth we experience. Discovery... It's such an awesome concept. Even the word itself seems so beautiful to me. And then it hit me, life is discovery, but it seems so horrible sometimes because we have so many regrets about mistakes we've made and anxieties of ones we might make. My goal is to move forward with gratitude for the discoveries I've made and while striving for peace and happiness, not living with so much fear of making a "mistake". I just want to try to live with more contentment in a life overfilling with content.
I feel like I am becoming more of the person I knew I was. I feel like I'm finally freeing myself from the bondage of distraction, fear, and insecurity and just living. I've needed this time to think and be alone.
I feel excited about life right now... I feel reborn... I feel discovered.